Favourite anecdotes

"The atmosphere of the Court, as we have said, was full of gambling, allied pleasures, and everything else that the taste of a prince naturally inclined to such tender amusements would suggest by way of luxury and smartness. The beauties wished to charm and the men tried to please... some danced, others put on airs and dressed magnificently, some were wits, others prodigious lovers, and a few were faithful. There was a certain Italian at the Court, famous for his guitar playing. He had a genius for music and was the only man who could make anything of the guitar; his style was so full of grace and tenderness that he would have brought harmony to the most discordant instrument... The Duke of York played tolerably... This [Italian] had recently composed a sarabande which either charmed or infuriated the whole Court, because all the guitar players set to work to learn it, and Heaven knows what a universal jangling there was!

The Duke of York, pretending not to know the tune, begged Lord Arran to play it to him. Lady Chesterfield had the best guitar in England, and the earl, wishing to play his best, took His Highness to his sister's rooms. She was lodged at Court with her father, the Duke of Ormonde, and this wonderful guitar was lodged there too. Whether this visit was previously arranged I do not know, but it is certain that they found the lady and the guitar both at home. They also found Lord Chesterfield, who was so upset by this unexpected visit that it was some time before he thought of getting up and receiving them with proper respect.

Jealousy, like an evil mist, clouded Lord Chesterfield's brain, and a thousand suspicions blacker than ink seized his imagination and were continually increasing and becoming more desperate. For while the brother played the guitar the sister played the flirt as if the coast was clear and no enemy observing them. The sarabande was repeated more than twenty times, and the Duke declared that it had been played perfectly. Lady Chesterfield found some fault with the piece, and her husband, who saw very well that he was the instrument being played, found it detestable." (68-69)

"'As I have explained, your cousin [Lady Chesterfield] was at the card-table, and the Duke close to her. I do not know what had happened to his hand, but I know only too well that his arm was invisible, right up to the elbow. I was standing behind them in the place that Lady Denham [another one of James' mistresses] had just left; the Duke turned round and saw me, and was so upset at the sight that he snatched his hand away and nearly undressed Lady Chesterfield in the process. I don't know whether they realised that I had found them out, but I am quite certain that Lady Denham will make sure that everyone knows about it. I must admit that I am in a state of incredible confusion; I have no doubt about which course I should adopt, if I were able to feel resentment against the man who has defiled my honour... Let us decide together what to do about this incredibly disagreeable business.'" (77)

...[by] myself by coach to St. James’s, where we attended with the rest of my fellows on the Duke, whom I found with two or three patches upon his nose and about his right eye, which come from his being struck with the bough of a tree the other day in his hunting; and it is a wonder it did not strike out his eye.